As the year rolls on past midterms, many stressors wane, providing relief. This relief from old stressors, however, gives way to new sorts of stress and anxiety that can really undo a person. Despair can really creep into one’s life in small amounts and suddenly expand, bringing a person to the verge of destruction. This has been evident in my own life, as academic stress spills over into relational strain and social desolation. The scholastic stress now retreating is giving way to the stress of wedding plans, housing issues, and several bureaucratic annoyances that will remain unmentioned. These factors have so consumed me that I have fallen into a pattern of social reclusion and relational neglect which causes unnecessary strain between me and others.
This strain between my neighbors and me, I believe, is reflective of the strain between God and me. I think that the relationships that we have with other people are directly representative of our relationship with God. I do not think that they are in every way correlated, but I do think that in times of strain withdrawing from people and withdrawing from God go hand in hand.
I come to a point of despair not primarily in my thirst for fellowship with other believers, but in my thirst for God that is a result of my spiritual dryness which neglect has caused. By his grace alone have I realized this, even while I am typing, and by his grace alone he is drawing me back to himself, always reminding me that he is a loving and gracious father. His love, his mercy, and his grace are sufficient for all my needs.
Only in God is there the remedy for hopelessness, and that is hope. Only in God is there the cure for apathy, and that is zeal. In God everything is sustained and holds together, it is not an abrupt and chaotic presence that he has. In God there is rest.
My soul, at this point, has been sick with sorrow for too extended a period of time, and is in desperate need of rest and recuperation. Through my dealings with others external to me, and my conscience internal to me, God has revealed truth to me by his grace. I have wandered away from his warmth, and have grown cold, but now he has opened my eyes and allowed me to see him clearly, and is calling me back to his rest. And now I will truly rest.
Grace and Peace,
Jacob Given